Whats happened so far since 2013.

I know It has been a while since I wrote something, it has been a busy and strange couple of years.

I got engaged in the 1^st of march 2013, my lovely husband got down on one knee in front of me with a beautiful engagement ring behind the Disney castle at Disney World Florida. I never thought I would have a boyfriend let alone be proposed to, so it took me a while to speak because of the shock and emotions I was feeling, there was no doubt in my mind that I loved Conal and would say Yes I just couldn't believe what was happening.

A lovely girl at the park came over after I said Yes and offered to email me the pictures she had taken of the event which I am so grateful for they are beautiful and are pride of place on our wall. Also right after I said yes, a husband and wife came over and the man told us he is a pastor and he would like to congratulate us both and wish us all the luck in the world. What popped through my head was I have only just said yes, I don't want to marry him right at this moment. We were then invited into Cinderella's castle to be given just engaged badges and have pixie dust sprinkled on our heads.

We were engaged for 2 year and were married on August 9^th 2015 at the Clandeboye Lodge in Bangor Northern Ireland. It was a beautiful day and neither Conal or I were nervous about getting married, I was emotional because it felt like I was leaving my family but I wasn't and I know that now, our families are both so welcoming to each other.

During the 2 years prior to the wedding I lived and worked in northern Ireland and Conal lived in Blackpool, We went on Holiday to Toronto and went to comic cons in London and Toronto we saw each other as much as we could and we were and still are very much in love and there is no doubt that we make each other very happy.

That said in 2014 I suffered from a breakdown and severe depression and if it was not for my family, Conal and his family, my friends and the doctors I don't want to think about what could have happened, I know what nearly happened and I hate the fact I put everyone through this, but I have learned depression is a dark beast in your head that tries to control you and you have to fight it everyday and it is a beast I am still fighting and some days are better then others.

I left my Job in Northern Ireland as that was the main cause of my depression and I was having trouble working there even when I tried to go back when my therapist told me not to. Thankfully I had been given a job with the civil Service in the UK and was able to move over to live with Conal in Blackpool prior to the wedding and work in Southport. The commute is actually quite relaxing and I have got used to the shifts, I'm so much happier but I still fight the beast in my head.

Because I moved over to the UK in May 2015 we were unable to have a proper Honeymoon We had a couple of days in Belfast after the wedding before I had to go back to work. So we have planned a 2 week trip to Florida in 2016 which was not our original intention but it is actually a perfect way to celebrate or relationship as it was in Florida that Conal proposed and we both love the movies and rides at Disney and Universal.

2016 is going to be a great Year and we will be just as happy as we have been in the 4 years we have been together so far.

I will write more film reviews and work on my story ideas too. I'm not just saying this because of the New Year, I now feel strong enough to go back to this as it is something that makes me happy and I love doing, but over the past year I have found it hard to get motivation to write which is another side effect of depression, you don't have the motivation to do anything all you want is to be on your own and do nothing or not to be part of this world at all.

I think that if people were educated on Depression and not embarrassed about it perhaps people would get the help they need sooner and not let the Beast win.

But on a lighter note lets all make 2016 a brilliant year and besides we are now in the future beyond Back to the Future 2.

RED TAILS 2012

So This is arriving a bit late, as I was very sick recently, but here we go with the final film in my colour themed month, that is referring to the titles of films and not the content of this film.

So the film starts with a very controversial quote made by the US Army War College Study in 1925 which reads “Blacks are mentally inferior, by nature subservient and cowards in the face of danger. They are therefore unfit for combat.” Well that shows how short the American's memories are, how they love to forget and ignore what the blacks did for them in the civil war and how they always fight for them in wars and get ignored so I see this might be trying to be another GLORY based on that quote.

So on with the film, which starts in a major looking WWII air battle, the Nazi pilot looks a bit like Liam Neeson. Boy this movie is appearing very serious as loads of people are dying, I know war is hell but I thought this film was going to be fun. So the blacks are in a red team and appear to be board as they are not taking part in the air fight. They shoot up a German truck and a German train.

So we appear to have an all black air force base and it looks like Cuba Gooding Junior is channelling Denzel Washington. And gives the pilots a pep talk after they read what America really thinks about black pilots in the war, he then tells them to watch the rest of the film and learn something. I do hope this film gets more interesting and fun soon, or I will think that they falsely advertised this film when it came out.

Wow Bryan Cranston playing a racist Coronal, saying that the experiment of having black pilots is over as they have not destroyed any significant targets or taken any out any enemies. However Terrence Howard's Coronal has another white coronal on his side and gets the Red Tails a mission which will get them noticed. So they are all excited and are flying cover for beach landings.

I have a feeling this is going to end badly as they Liam Neeson looking Nazi is fling head on towards them. OK they aren’t doing to bad so far. The captain and the red tails decide to follow the Liam Neeson Nazi back to his base and go against orders, they attack the base But Junior, who prefers to be called Ray Gun, is shot and badly hurt. They head back to their base and feel like heroes.

Terrance Howard is congratulated for what the red tails did but Bryan Cranston's Coronal is still racist. Junior is blind in one eye now and still wants to fly. Terrance Howard is asked to provide cover for the bomber planes as they are not getting to their targets because the white pilots keep going after the Germans and leaving the bombers open to being taken out by the Germans.

Ah time for more racism as Lightning starts a fight in the officers club and then gets arrested, but gets to remain as he is one of the best pilots. They get new planes and Terrance explains their mission. They paint the tails of the new planes red so they stand out. Capitan gets Junior back on the flight roster to fly in the mission even though he is blind in one eye.

OK, just to explain what happened, at this point Netflix crashed and I could not watch the rest of the film, then I got very sick last month so now I’m going to try and continue.

The team are protecting the bombers while the white bomber teams are racist and feel like they haven't got the best protection. Just the typical racism of the time and of movies like this. The Red Tails follow their orders of not going for glory but protecting the bomber so the Nazi's decided to attack the Red Tails. Junior gets hit and has to bail out and is captured by the Nazi's.

After the bombing attack Lightning argues with the Captain and about the decision to let Junior fly, The captain tries to get Deacon back to base even though he is badly hurt and bleeding from the head and the plane is leaking oil in the cockpit. Lightning brakes from the squad after the mission is over to fly down the coast and tries to take on a U boat (I think) and ignores smoky who tells him that’s enough and lets go home, he actually succeeds in causing major damage to the U boat.

Meanwhile, Deacon is trying to land with the help of the captain as he can't get the canopy open and can't bail. He ends up crashing the plane which ignites in to a fire ball they get Deacon out before the plane explodes. Lightning and Captain argue again as Lightning accuse him of drinking.

Junior is taken to Stalag 18 and is put in a bunk with other prisoners who requested him and he is assured that he will not be hanged and not be treated any different from the other men as they are in the middle of a delicate operation. Wow I wonder what that could be maybe the Great escape.

Lightning shows of his flight footage and his attack of the U Boat and then spends time with his Italian Girlfriend. Lightning talks to captain and asks him to stop drinking and he will fly right and follow orders.

The team go to town together and a white pilot starts shouting at them down the street and they think he wants to start a fight but the guy wants to thank them as he is from one of the bomber teams, they are told the drinks are on him and every one in the club thanks them one by one. Lightning proposes and the girl asks him for time to think.

Junior helps the guys in the camp escape and travels on his own so he doesn't draw attention to the other men.

There is 30 minutes left and I have never felt like there was any risk or danger for the lives of any member of the Red Tails.

The top brass refuse to let the Red Tails fly the whole way with the Bombers on a big mission as it will be reported and they can't have a colour flight squad protecting them. Lightning's girlfriend accepts the proposal and then Captain miller from the camp with junior arrives with Junior's dog tags.

Terrance Howard tells the captain to stop being self pitying and then we see him drinking before they get in the planes. The Red Tails decide to stay with the bombers to the whole mission and go against orders. The Nazi's and Liam Neeson looking guy turn up in Jets and start attacking the Red Tails maybe they have decided to wait till the last 20 minutes to kill some of them. I hate to say it but I hope some of them do die, just so we get some real tension and drama.

One of the bombers turn back as they get attacked and loss an engine and a squad member, Lighting takes a jet head on with Liam Neeson looking guy, but he gets badly shot up and looks like he will die, yep he died but I actually wanted him to survive as he was a great character with a full story and not just cliches.

Junior arrives at the service/funeral for Lightning and announces he will know as the Fabulous Ray Gun. The Red Tails get awarded for their skill and bravery and ends with a brief message about the number of awards they got.

I can see that the makers of this film put a lot of effort in the to flying sequences and wanted to tell this story though battles. But the battles when they had supposed dangerous ones had no suspense or tension as you knew no one would die. It was obvious that they would have to kill one of the main guys. It felt manipulative to have Lighting die as he kept risking his life though out the movie and was about to settle down, but that’s why you could see it coming in the final battle, but I had hoped that Captain would of died cause he was just annoying and there was nothing likeable in my opinion about him. As I stated earlier this movie is Glory and any other movie about the struggle of a minority to be accepted and retreated with respect. I would rather watch Cool Runnings then this film again and I suspect that is why Netflix kept crashing when I tried to watch this film.

When this was advertised it was shown as a fun family film, which it isn't it is long and not really for kids it definitely is no Star Wars and I suspect George Lucas wanted this made as a personal project, it is well know he has stock footage from the war of dog fights which he used to choreograph the space battles in Star Wars.

The next set of Blogs will be about a genre close to my heart Fairy Tale Movies and interpretations of those stories.

GREEN LANTERN (2011)

Welcome to another colour themed film review.

As I'm sure you have gathered I watch the movie and type the review at the same time to give you my honest opinion and reaction to what I am watching. I hope that what you read makes sense and you can follow it, that said sometimes the movies I watch can be confusing, the first 54 seconds of this film I am confused, true I have never read the comics or watched the cartoon series and the history of the Green Lantern corp needs some explanation and I like Geoffrey Rush's voice, but there has to be another way.

Maybe this is why films based on DC comics don't tend to work, they try to explain too much and not just let the audience learn and experience the the adventure with the hero.

But on with the film, so the bad guy is called Parallax I guess he paralyses people with fear and steals there fear and escapes the Lost Planet of Ryat that seemed very easy. So Parallax goes after Ryan Reynolds Predecessor and he is injured and heads to earth where Ryan is sleeping with a hot girl and is late so drives fast while wrapping something and narrowly avoids a crash with split second reactions.

So Ryan (Hal Jordan) arrives and we are introduced to his partner Carol Ferris code name Sapphire probably real love interest of movie. We have a brilliant dog fight and Hal has flash backs to the death of his dad and so nearly crashes but ejects at the last minute. Everyone is angry at him but I’m assuming the robot planes as he calls them will come in handy at the end of the film. Even his family is mad and worried about him.

Considering that The Green Lanterns are meant to be fearless I get the impression that Hal might be the only green lantern who is afraid but that might be why he is the best to fight parallax. I also don't trust the red faced pointy eared green lantern called Sinestro his name like parallax is quite obvious and that his is sinister.

So a New guy called Hector Hammond is picked up by what I assume is secret service type people and taken to meet Tina Turner, sorry I mean Angela Basset, they are going to investigate the alien and and space ship. I have a feeling that Hector Might become evil or possessed by an alien or something and be Hal's Human nemesis.

Hal tries to figure out how to activate the lantern saying to infinity and beyond, by the power of grayskull and then knocks the lantern with the ring and as if in a trance he says the green lantern oath. Meanwhile Hector is doing a autopsy of the alien and gets infected by a bit of yellow parallax.

Hal hangs out with his flight partner Carol and apologises to her and dances with her before she asks why he froze, he leaves and gets beat up by the guys form the company he worked for who are pissed off and he accidentally activates his ring and punches them with a giant green fist and then is transported to Green Lantern HQ. While Hector is transformed into a human form of Parallax.

It looks like Hal is tortured before his suit is activated and he meets Geoffrey Rush (Tomar-Re) who explains more about the Green Lanterns and he is brought to a meeting of all the Green Lanterns. This bit kind of reminds me of The Last Starfighter when he first arrives on the planet. Hal gets training and Sinestro hates Hal and shows him how weak and scared he is, then Hal leaves saying it was a mistake for the ring to choose him.
 

Meanwhile Hector starts showing mind reading and telekinetic powers in his class and when Tim Robbins meets with him.

Sinestro and other Green Lanterns try to stop Parallax but He looses a lot of Green lanterns and the elders of Oa explain the origin of Parallax that he was also a green lantern who tried to control fear.

I find it hard to believe that people don't recognise Hal with a small eye mask on his face, Hector is not going to be able to show his face any more as he his head has got bigger and he looks like he is allergic to yellow.

Hal shows off to his best friend who picked him up after the alien crash and has figured out that the green guy was Hal, he mentions he is a super hero and that they get the girl and Hal flies over to Carols place and puts on a silly weird voice which is so cheesy. I really hope that Carol does realise its Hal, thank god she does, I would hate to think she was so stupid not to know her friend and partner. This so far doesn't feel like a bad film.

I can see what the director has done every time Fear, Hector or Parallax is shown we get Yellow lighting, and we get green lighting when Green Lanterns are about to show up.

Angela picks up Hector and brings him back to the lab to explain that there was a second life-form in the alien body and that he is infected and his dad Tim Robbins wants to help fix him, I think these guys are going to die now or very soon once Hector becomes fully transformed by fear.

Yeah I was right, ah this reminds of Tim Robbins at the end of Howard the Duck, sadly Howard is not here to save him hopefully Hal can save Tim. Oh well that's one to fear and Howard the Duck, Hal couldn't stop Hector but at least he didn't find Hal's real fear.

Hal explains everything to his friend and Girlfriend and they try to show and prove to him that he is has the ability to overcome fear and that he is courageous. Parallax communicates with Hector and though Hector, the Yellow ring is created and Hal pleads his case on Or and they refuse to help him as they don't want to take a chance on him. But we all know they'll come round and help him in the end.

Hector is holding Carol in the air with a needle to her neck of yellow stuff and Hal talks to him and tries to talk him down and gives him his ring which he uses and then tried to use on Hal, just before Parallax absorbs Hector's life force, Hal goes to get his ring but is caught by parallax and nearly killed before Carol uses the jets missiles to save him and he then goes off to try and out think parallax before it destroys earth.

A yellow and black cloud of smoke engulfs the city streets, which I feel is reminiscent of the footage of people running down the streets of New York when the twin towers collapsed.

Hal pushes back on parallax and drags it to space and towards a sun and then when it won't burn he punches Parallax with a giant green fist intothe sun. So Sinestro isn't a bad guy after all, and Hal does get the girl before flaying of to fight evil. Oh wait I was right Sinestro is evil and will be the bad guy in the next film because he put on the yellow ring.

I am actually very surprised with how much I enjoyed this film, true I like Ryan Reynolds to the annoyance of my fiancé. That said I can also see why it didn't do very well at the box office, the CGI suits and aliens are obvious and don't work in my opinion. Had this been made in the 80's lets say, we would have had an actual costume and creatures from fantasia (Neverending Story) as the other green lanterns. I prefer in camera effects and make up, I feel there is too much reliance on CGI and that we have lost an art form.
 

But other problems with this film was it felt like they just wanted to get this origin story done, so they can start working towards the eventual JLA movie and a sequel which they might put more effort into.

I would say at times I was reminded of Spider Man, and the Incredible Hulk with regards to the storyline and some of the characters so nothing new however I feel people may want to give it a second look, but that's my thoughts as a newbie to the story of the Green Lantern.

One last comment as much as I like Ryan Reynolds I still don't like the skin type costume and I feel that he would have been better as the Flash or the proper Dead Pool in their respective movies if they ever happen.

I'll return next week with Red Tails.

BLUE CITY (1986)

Movie Mistress back with another movie with a colour theme to the title.

I know nothing about this film so I'm coming in blind all I know is it has Judd Nelson and Ally Sheedy or as my dad likes to refer to her “Nice Software” you figure out the movie quote.

So we have credits over images of a city and Judd arriving in Blue City on a bus, already it is clear he is just home from Collage I think the basketball and prepy look gives it away. Boy he must have been a busy guy in the mid 80's. So Judd starts a fight with his bully causing a bar fight and ending up in prison.

So Judd is the Mayors boy desperate for attention or so he says, and it turns out he doesn't know his dad is dead and was murdered.

I feel like this might be slightly like hamlet and that the chief might be the bad guy and it will be up to Judd and Ally to solve the murder of his dad. Judd even asks the mechanic if the chief is on the take, before visiting his dad's grave.

I swear it is pure coincidence that Blue City and Green Hornet have rich prepy guys who don't like their dad and want attention. Oh wow David Caruso (Joey) before he became Horatio, I prefer him at the start of his career to now.

So Judd goes to Kerch's night club (Supposed main Bad Guy) and a call girl talks to him and tries to find out what he knows but Judd realises it and leaves then gets stopped by a blonde guy in a safari suit who takes him to Kerch's office. Kerch tells him he didn't do it and gets his men to beat him up. Judd goes to Ally to get cleaned up and find out more information about Kerch and what he has done to his friend Joey.

Definite Hamlet vibe coming from this film or maybe it is the same thriller/detective story of the 80's movies. Judd pisses off Joey and they fight and suddenly Joey is helping him and as Joey takes him to show where Kerch is everyday at 10:30 and Kerch's car blows up so he pays a visit to his step mum.

I feel like Joey knows too much and has things Judd needs before he asks and I feel he might double cross Judd later for money or will get killed. Judd and Joey hold up the dog track which is owned by Kerch and then is picked up the next day and taken to Chief of Police Reynolds, I still don't trust the Chief.

Kerch's story is Judd's dad worked with him and then someone killed Judd’s dad and he fell in love with Judd’s step mum there is that Hamlet vibe again. Judd won't stop until he gets justice for his dad. Well he will for sex with Joey's sister Ally Sheedy, wow I couldn't see that coming at all.

Judd tricks his step mum in to believing someone is being indited for his dads death and pisses off Ally when she tries to help by becoming a dancer at Kerch's club and telling her not to be detective. What men should remember is women are smart and good at finding clues. So far the detective work of this film seems to be Judd and Joe stealing from Kerch.

I think I know why this film was not really seen in the 80's and isn't remembered as much as other Brat pack films. I am following all the plots but they are all confused and badly edited with a load of continuity errors due to editing.

The Chief has turned up again and tells them to back off but that’s like telling some one not to press a button. A dancer from Kerch's club, who played the female vampire in Fright Night 2, apparently has all the gossip on Kerch.

I really am wishing this film would end and make sense, cause I really don't care about anybody in this film. There is nobody in this film which is likeable, even the dancer is evil and setting up Judd, Joey and Ally for a shoot out at a motel. Joey and Judd get arrested, but the Chief is covering up for them again for the third time in this film and tells Judd to get out of town for good.

This is such a boring and confusing film and not confusing in a good way like Inception or In The Mouth of Madness just plain confusing. Oh look Joey (David Caruso) is killed I didn't see that coming from the start of the film. Cause the “hero” needs a reason to return and finish what he started.

Kerch's people are just plain weird though out this film I have not been sure if I should be taking them seriously or if they are meant to be the comic relief. The final battle reminds me of the ending of the film Super with one guy taking on the bad guy and his house of minions. But I still think I have been right about the Chief from the start as he arrives just in time to kill 2 minions of Kerch.

So the Chief kills Kerch and I hope Judd finally realises what I saw from the start the Chief is evil, I guess he had to get shot first by the Chief to realise. Oh yay it must be the end of the film we have the Bad guys monologue and then Judd shoots him.

As there is no proof of who killed who and why, surely that means Judd goes to prison for murder, but this is a movie so I guess not and he rides off into the sunset with Ally on his bike.

OK so the movie was only and Hour and 20 minutes but boy how to make a movie complicated, I know at times Hamlet can be confusing but at least you felt some sort of connection with the main protagonist. From the get go I didn't like anybody apart from Ally's character, everybody else was corrupt even Judd and Joey at times I felt Judd's character was just doing everything for the fun of it like crank calling his step mum and just genuinely being a spoilt brat. The ending felt like a complete anti climax the ending of Turner and Hooch with the reveal that the Chief was behind everything was handled way better then this. So in conclusion I would not recommend this film.

Next I return to the colour Green with the Green Lantern I just hope I can sit though it all.

THE GREEN HORNET 2011

It's been a while but I have been wanting to get back to writing these blogs for a while so I’ll try to keep it up and maybe I’ll do another podcast too.

Well lets look at The Green Hornet I was living and working in Toronto when this and the Green Lantern came out and I just was not interested in any green movies that year.

So I sit here and I have chosen to watch a movie that like the phantom I just am not so invested in, I’m aware of the history of the character the 60's TV series with Bruce lee and the crossover with the 60's Batman but I never cared for The Green Hornet or any of those rich vigilantes who relay more on their sidekick then themselves you know the type that seem to appear more in the DC universe, I know Marvel and other comics have there’s but DC seems to have a lot.

So the movie opens in what I can only assume is the childhood of the Green Hornet, with stereo type 2 a disappointed single rich dad who seems to be a major prick. Ah the classic bad guy entrance reminiscent of 80's bad guys and James Franco Seth Rogan's bestie. I am holding back about James Franco cause he frustrates me, that is being polite.

James Franco pisses of Christoph Waltz who has a pistol with 2 barrels by saying he looks like a disco Santa and isn't scary. Christoph Waltz is scary I wish I could call him a Scary German Guy but he's Austrian. So glad he blew up James Franco.

I want to like Seth Rogan, but he only plays one thing which appears to be himself always partying and getting stoned. He gets told off by his dad again who I assume is going to die or get killed soon. Wow surprise I was right, who knew.

So selfish arrogant prick continues, he now controls a paper, fired all the staff at the house who worked for his father, then suddenly realises he needs one particular member of staff cause no one can make decent coffee/ I find that hard to believe.

15 minutes into this film and apart form Christoph Waltz who is the bad guy, there is no one likeable in it hopefully John Cho playing Kato might make me feel better about this film. So Kato makes a dame fine cup of coffee I wonder if he lived in Twin Peaks. So he shows some of the stuff he has worked on for his dad including the car, my question is why did his dad need a car like that and wow there is a Bruce Lee homage with Kato's drawing's.

OK Kato and Seth get drunk, Seth decides to cuts the head off his dad's statue and then when taking the head notices a couple being mugged but is a chicken and runs off after shouting at them, next Kato turns up to save the day is an awesome sequence which was clearly made for the 3D experience. I really think Kato and Tonto got the raw end of the deal they are the hero not the rich guy's. Maybe this is what influenced John Carpenter when he made Big Trouble in little China.

So Kato beats all the bad guys up and Seth gets one hit in at the end and they evade the police well try too and use as Seth calls the the “Ben Hur Shit” you know the cutters that comes out of the wheels.

I feel that Seth must be a nightmare for the script writers as I feel he improvises a lot and not for the benefit of the film. So Seth explains the plot and the job of a hero and how he will not do what they do in movies or comics.

Wow Clarissa Explains it all Dad is still working who knew. Kato comes up with the name The Green Hornet while Seth keeps trying to sell the Green Bee, he uses his news paper to publicise the 2 hero's hay at least he has control of the paper and is not like Peter Parker working as a photographer trying to take pictures of himself as spider man. 35 minutes in and Cameron Diaz finally arrives, I suspect she is just in this film to be another love interest, hope she doesn’t dance and end up being like her character in The Mask.

Well she is definitely more intelligent in this film then other characters she has played. Kato works on the car's and weapons while Seth works on his costume, which Kato ends up making. They go for a ride in the new car with a record player playing Gangsters Paradise weird, Seth then call his new secretary Cameron to get instructions on what the Green Hornet will do next. So we get another 3D fight sequence and they find out who the bad guy is Christoph Waltz. Wow Edward Furlong still looks Stoned and delivers the message about The Green Hornet and Christoph Waltz kills him.

The Editor of The Sentinel tries to warn him about reporting on the Green hornet and upsetting the DA who has promised to clean up the city. We then get a montage of them taking on more bad guys. Kato makes Seth a gas gun and Seth shoots himself and ends up being knocked out for 11 days and in that time Kato make 3 more Hornet cars and fixes the gas so it only lasts an hour and then Seth shoots him.

Kato and Seth fight over Cameron Diaz and the DA tries to get in touch with Seth. Finally the bad guys are getting annoyed with the Green Hornet as am I. I have spent 3 days forcing myself to watch this and I love comic book movies but this is just frustrating.

The Green Hornet is sent mail from the bad guy for a trap and Seth is getting pissed off at his side kick, time for the break up part of the film where they get pissed off at each other and one of them is bound to end up getting hospitalised or someone close is going to get hurt and they will have to take their role seriously and take real action against the bad guys. Christoph waltz uses 3 lorries to trap and push The green hornet, Kato and car in to a grave and bury them alive but Kato blows up the grave with all the weapons in the car. OK so only the bud guys got hurt.

Ah how meta Seth and Kato have a fight about who the hero is and who the side kick is, my money is on Kato winning this fight, Seth is a whinny, weak chicken who can't fight. Darn it Seth wins by default because Kato can't swim and gets fired along with Cameron Diaz.

Christoph waltz is now after the green hornet cause someone close to him was killed in the explosion earlier. The Editor of the paper tells Seth he has heightened this to the point of a climax, out of context this sounds rude, but within the film I hope that this means we are near the end cause this is awful.

The DA is sounding very sleazy, by saying he wants to help Seth but that it will be mutually beneficial to him to him, which means you help me get re elected and I help you control the news.

Mean while Christoph Waltz character wants to change his name and get a red costume.

So much exposition in this film and I am bored, there are better ways to explain the story then have some say what’s been happening, I got what had happened from the photo I did not need the explanation about what his dad had done, but hay I’m not the lowest common denominator that the studios aim at.

So Christoph and the DA have hired Kato to Kill Seth, wow that wasn't obvious and so Finally we get to the sad story of how the DA killed Seth’s dad and joined forces with Christoph, and Seth finally apologises to Kato and they are back together. And time for the obligatory chase section of the movie with multiple car crashes. And now I feel a Back to the Future Libyan shooting from the Van at Marty sequence. Kato defeats the bad guys while Seth tries to get a USB with a recording on it to the Daily Sentinel and on to the Internet surly there are easier ways to get information on the internet without going to the actual paper but have this must be the big final battle.

OK so Kato and Seth take the car in the elevator lose the back part of the car but it still drives cause it is front wheel drive. I am seriously willing this film to end it just isn't fun or funny. Oh yay a fight in the dark where you can't see anything and Kato's leg is trapped and Seth the idiot didn't record anything well done. But I think he is finally going to redeem himself and save Kato or not Kato saved himself. They kill the DA and Seth's only suggestion for the car ejector seats finally pays off.

And they go and hide out at Cameron Diaz place and figure out how to get rid of the bullet in his shoulder and that involves Kato Shooting him as Brit during a press conference, the best part of this film is the ending and the credit sequence.

I can completely understand why this was a flop, Britt Reid/Green Hornet (Seth Rogan) was unlike able as a character and apart form the first thing he and Kato did and the final fight they weren’t helping people they were just looking to take control of the gangs. Kato was the best thing as he was when Bruce lee played him and sadly his back story was not explored more they should have gone down the Big Trouble in little China root at least Kurt Russell had a likeable character and was trying to help but understood that he didn't understand.

I now see that Seth Rogan wrote this film which explains a lot of the inane conversations and movie references I wish he had tried to make a more serious Comic book film this could have been like the marvel movies which have serious subjects and have funny moments but this kept trying to be funny and it just wasn't, also I felt no real danger for the characters and no connection to them.

I feel this could have been so much better and maybe revived a classic Comic book character, but perhaps the classic characters like the Phantom, the Shadow and Dick Tracy no longer resonate with the public and the film makers don't know what do do with them.

But like always watch it yourself and make your own mind up about this film and all films don't take my word of it form your own opinion and hay let me know what you think.

Podcast Episode 1

http://soundcloud.com/scifigeeksarah/movie-tv-mistress-episode-1
In this Podcast i discuss Spoof films and many other things that i have been wanting to discuss.

I hope people like this and even if you don't any comments you have will help me improve and decide if this is a format to continue.

Thanks for listening to Movie and TV Mistress first Podcast.

THE MAN WHO HAUNTED HIMSELF (1970)

Welcome to a new review for a New Year from the Movie and TV Mistress.

I have been very busy the past few months with new jobs and a new relationship with my boyfriend, but I have been keeping up with some classic movies thanks to my boyfriend Conal who has a larger movie collection then me, which I could not believe was possible. While visiting Conal, who is a massive Sir Roger Moore and Elvis fan, he showed me a little known film staring Sir Roger Moore before he became Bond, called The Man Who Haunted Himself.

The film is based on the book The Strange Case of Mr Pelham, The plot of the film is an uptight business man, Harold Pelham, who appears to crack or become possessed while driving very fast, has a car crash and when he recovers and comes back to work, he keeps hearing that he was seen somewhere and did things that were completely out of character, like having an Affair, actually sleeping with his wife and supporting a business merger that he was dead set against. Harold commits himself as he think he has gone insane and then after changing his dress sense and his attitude he finally confronts his alter ego/evil self and realises that he has lost his life to the other him and drives off, there is a dramatic car case and Harold crashes though a bridge and dies...or does he?

The film is actually a very good thriller it kept me guessing throughout and Sir Roger Moore isn't cheesy as you would expect, especially when compared to his performances that he is most famous for. When I watched this I was expecting to hate it as I am not a fan of Sir Roger Moore but I was actually impressed it is well acted and very well made film with some great early camera tricks within the film. I can tell you this film is one of those rare gems of a film that doesn't tell you anything, it is up to you as a viewer to decide what happens in the the film and take what you want from it. It is also proof of how good an actor Sir Roger Moore is, he can with a single look tell you everything at the end of the film, but it is weather you notice it and get it.

I surprised Conal and got the film and understood the ending and Sir Roger's finale glance. To me the film is about a man who becomes two similar but very different people and then at the end becomes one whole person again.

I would recommend this to anybody who likes Sir Roger Moore and to those, who like me, believe that he is a cheesy actor who can only play one type of character, as it will definitely change your opinion of him and his acting ability.

Also, If you enjoy American Dad there is an episode called The One That Got Away which has Roger the alien experience his own version of this film, well he does have a lot of alter ego's.

Bye for now, I will return next week with a review of a film called Big Bad Wolf (2006)

Xtreamer SideWinder 2 Media Player & Streamer

Movie and TV Mistress here again, this time I’m not reviewing a movie or TV show but a piece of equipment for home entertainment.

The Xtreamer SideWinder 2 is a new and improved media player with wifi, it plays all video formats, music files and pictures through your TV.

I know you must be wondering why I'm reviewing this, well a friend of mine asked me to look at this new Media Player & Streamer and give an honest opinion of the product. After a couple of days playing around with the device I have to say it is very easy to use with an excellent interface.

The SideWinder 2 can be connected to your TV via HDMI, Composite, Component, Coaxial and Optical, It has Network and Wifi Capability and the new USB 3.0 which make the transfer of data much faster and smoother.

You don't need a computer, keyboard or mouse there is a virtual keyboard on screen which you use your remote to navigate and you can search online for video's to stream directly to your TV. Alternatively you can use this as a storage devise or connect an external hard drive with any downloads you have and play them through your TV. You may say, well I can connect my hard drive to my Blu-Ray and play them that way, this is true, but Blu-Ray players may not be able to play all video formats.

This devise makes it easy to play your downloads and stream video's direct form the internet and is a major improvement on earlier media players, with more people watching films and TV shows online this is an excellent piece of tech for those who want to go digital and not have so much clutter and DVD's around the TV.

If you would like more information on this product and to purchase it with Free Delivery in the UK and Ireland, please visit the following website:

http://www.xtreamer.ie/

They also have a Facebook page:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/xtreamerie/148385955245640?sk=wall

Till next time folks, I will be back with more films and TV show reviews soon.

WISHMASTER 4: The Prophecy Fulfilled (2002)

Welcome to another WISHMASTER review, lets hope it's the last one.

This is another straight to DVD release and it was filmed back to back with the third one but is meant to have a more adult tone.

The movie starts with a naration of the Djinn, then we see a couple move into their new house and have sex and leave the front door open, I know it is filmed in Canada but that’s just asking for trouble. The credits are still rolling and we have tit shots, sex and naked drawing they leave on a motorbike and next it's 3 years later, so what was the point of that opening other then to fulfil the 18 rating.

The girl (Lisa) from the start goes to another man's house to discuss a case that they are working on, the guy called Steve loves her and gives her a silver mirrored box with a big red ruby in it, she drops the box when the guy tries to kiss her. Neither of them noticed the big ruby till Lisa goes to leave and touches the ruby awaking the Djinn and her connection to it. Steve puts the ruby in his safe and Lisa goes home.

Lisa's boyfriend Sam from the start is now in a wheelchair and is a drunk and is very angry that they haven't had sex in 3 years, he believes Lisa is sleeping with Steve their lawyer. Meanwhile Steve finds the Djinn in his house wishes that the Djinn would not talk in riddles and then is killed and his identity taken by the Djinn.

We get more tit shots of Lisa in the shower and her trying to cheer Sam up, but the Djinn Steve turns up and takes Lisa to breakfast. He gets her to make her first wish, that the company responsible for the failed brake's on Sam's motorbike would settle, the Djinn gets the other lawyer on the phone and makes him pull out his tongue, cut off his nose, stab his face, sign the settlement and then shoot himself. At least with this film so far, I can see why it is an 18 rated film there is nudity and some gore.

Though they got ten million dollars Sam is not happy as he believes Lisa is only with him for the money and will leave him. Djinn Steve invites them to dinner but Sam refuses to go, Lisa makes her second wish, that Sam could walk again, we see Sam struggle in pain while Lisa and Steve are entertained by a belly dancer, we see a couple kiss and the waitress says she wishes someone would kiss her like that and then every person in the restaurant starts kissing her. Usually the Djinn's wishes lead to death but we don't see her hers kills her.

Lisa asks why he is still angry, he tells her he hated being pittyed and that the sex has not been great since he's been in the wheelchair, so he heads to a strip club and she heads to Steve's. Steve and Lisa chat and he explains the difference between a prayer and a wish, she asks for some water and she makes a third wish that she could love Steve as he really is. So at least the title of the film is accurate the prophecy has finally been fulfilled, she made 3 wishes.

I have noticed that this film has chosen to ignore the physic connection the waker and Djinn have, so Lisa does not have any visions of pain and suffering which is probably why she is completely oblivious to what she has done.

Steve asks Lisa to leave and the other Djinn tell him to grant her wish but he can't because love must be given freely. I'm reminded of the 3 provisos of the genie in Aladdin which were 1, he can't kill anyone 2, he can't bring people back from the dead and 3, he can't make anyone fall in love. This Djinn has broken rule one so who's to say he can't break the other rules.

Steve goes to see Lisa's friend for some advice on love and asks her how he can tell Lisa his secret, while what appears to be the Angel Michael, called the Hunter is awakened and is hunting for the waker and Djinn. Lisa's friend wishes fro some killer sex and has sex with thin air up the wall, who knew thin air is all you need to have sex with. Lisa dreams of having sex with Sam but the Djinn turns up and she wakes up screaming just as Sam comes home and he gets upset that she had a nightmare about having sex with him.

Sam starts carving a statue based on his drawings of Lisa and Steve goes to a strip club, Steve is trying to understand human love and seems to think it is all based on money and sex. The Hunter goes to Lisa's shop and cuts off her other friends head and goes after Lisa. Steve invites Sam to the strip club and asks him to make a wish but he refuses, Steve is chucked out and and beaten up by a bouncer and then beats up and kills the bouncer after he wishes he would have put up a better fight.

The other Djinn have another go at Djinn Steve and tell him to grant Lisa's wish, the Hunter catches up with Lisa and tells her he must kill her for waking the Djinn and chases after her, she crashes her car and runs off from the Hunter and Steve saves her and fights the Hunter with a branch against a sword, the Djinn then makes a sword from the ruby and defeats the Hunter and kills him. Another one of the pointless story lines in this film which just makes this dull.

Lisa finds a letter from Sam telling her he's gone and won't be back and how much Steve loves her, Steve turns up tells her how he feels and they make out and start having sex in the living room while the other Djinn watch and touch her, the sex lasts less five minutes, he asks her if she loves him for who he is and she doesn't answer his question, she asks who he is and leaves to get dressed and the other Djinn start destroying her house and Steve Djinn tries to get her to except him for who he is but Sam turns up and shoots the Djinn in the form of Steve, himself and Lisa then he wishes for a way to kill him and is given a sword which the Djinn stabs through Sam's chest.

Sam plays dead and Lisa goes to kiss the Djinn in Sam's form she pushes the Djinn on to the back of Sam and kills the Djinn before the final wish was granted and Lisa ends up single.

That was just awful to watch, there were so many pointless scenes which did not add to the story other then to make the film last longer the Hunter was pointless and the scenes of Sam carving a statue of Lisa added nothing other then telling you that he still loved her.

I have to say that at least it wasn't WISHMASTER 2 but I said that about the third film, this film starts as a horror film then changes into a strange love story that doesn't end in the way I expected, I had thought that it would end with her truly loving the Djinn just like beauty and the Beast and then there would be hell on Earth.

If you do ever feel the need to watch any of the WISHMASTER films I would say watch the first film but if you do want to watch a sequel just stick the third, but definitely avoid the second film at all costs.

WISHMASTER 3: Devil Stone (2001)

Movie and TV Mistress back with the third instalment of WISHMASTER films.

This third film is called WISHMASTER 3: Devil Stone in the UK but is also known as WISHMASTER 3: Beyond The Gates Of Hell. Like the second film it is another straight to DVD release, this film is also rated 15 rather then 18 like the rest of the series, these are signs that it will yet again be bad, but you never know so lets see if this can redeem the franchise.

We have some very sedate opening credits showing Persian statues, pottery and a star shaped puzzle box engulfed in flames. Then we have the nightmare of the female lead called Diana, she has a nightmare about the car crash she survived but which killed her parents, while that’s happening she has decided to climb to the roof of her dorm and her boyfriend Greg follows her. Greg thinks she has jumped off the roof and we get a bad attempt at a jump scare when her foot touches his neck.

I predict that Diana will wish that she died in the car crash, meaning everybody will be alive and well at the end of the film.

Diana is a TA in a mythology class, her boyfriend is a student in her class, yeah we all know he wants her for one thing the answers. So she is doing some extra stuff at the museum with the Teacher, nothing kinky even though Jason Connery so wants to. I find Jason's performance in most of his films to be awful and very creepy, no change there then.

While waiting for Jason to arrive Diana checks out the Persian puzzle box, this is all starting to remind me of Hellraiser, but with a magic eye puzzle; what Diana needs is a fatty-boom-batty blunt! And I guarantee she'll be seeing a sailboat, an ocean, and maybe even some of those big-tittied mermaids doing some of that lesbian shit!

She sees the button to open the box, pulls out the ruby and rubs it, this is a first the ruby does not get broken at the start. Jason arrives wants to take her to dinner, but is denied. Diana leaves and he is left alone and wouldn't you know it the Djinn arrives, the Djinn in this film is now played by John Novak in make up, but will also be played by Jason, oh the joy.

I figure the fact the stone was found in a puzzle box could explain the difference of Djinn in this and the fourth film. It's sad that horror monsters aren’t played by the same actor, Robert Englund stuck with the franchise to the very end, he was right not to come back for the reboot, but his Freddy was and will always be the best.

Jason knows who the Djinn is and says he doesn't want anything but the Djinn blackmails him into wishing, so he wishes for the two most beautiful girls to want him and be there, Djinn obliges and then Jason is sliced to pieces by the girls and the Djinn takes his face so he can walk around. Meanwhile Diana is hanging with her friend who is telling her that her boyfriend will leave her if she doesn't change and then she gets the vision of Jason's death so goes to investigate.

So far I have to say this film is better then the second film and slightly closer to the first so that’s good but the downside is as it is a 15 rated film we only see tits and no real gore.

Diana's friend has sex with boyfriend in public after scaring her boyfriend with a bull head, perhaps that is a set up for later, or maybe I’m expecting too much from this film. Diana knows all about the mythology and what the box and stone are and asks her boyfriend to trust her and tells him everything, but Greg needs to know if she loves him and why she won't get help for her issues and leaves.

Jason is trying to get info about Diana but can't get it so gets the registrar to make a wish, she wishes all the files would go up in flames which ruins his plan to find Diana that way. Diana has a research montage and is late for class. Djinn Jason teaches class telling the class that the Greek gods were Djinn and that the Trojan war was due to the Djinn because Helen of Troy wished to be loved by everybody, what a selfish bitch.

Well wouldn't you know it the College is putting on the play Faust wow isn't that subtle, Jason is tricked in going to a girls room believing he will find Diana but finds Melissa who wants to have sex with Jason, so he leaves and heads to Diana's room where Greg confronts Jason and we get a bad morph job on Jason's face so Greg now believes and runs to find Diana and takes her to church but Jason is there.

We finally get some gross gore and and bad make up effects as a girl becomes thinner, so Diana wishes for her pain to stop and then wishes for the Arc Angel Michael to fight the Djinn, Diana is about to take Michael into her but Greg pushes her out of the way, he and the Djinn fight and Michael barely wins and runs off with Diana. Melissa still wants the professor and wishes for him to break her heart. While Michael and Diana hide in the theatre and he has a go at her for releasing the Djinn.

We get another wish and death, while Diana tries to block the visions from the Djinn, they talk to each other through the visions straight to camera. Diana tries to wield Michael's Flaming sword but gets burnt, so Michael heals her by blowing on her, now that one hell of a blow job. Diana's Friend Katie runs when she sees her boyfriend and then Jason and hides in an animal research lab, phone's Diana and wishes for somewhere to hide and is forced into a cage with rats.

Michael and Jason fight again and Michael cuts off the Djinn's hand but he just grows another, Michael and Diana drive off but Jason jumps on top they continue to fight but then we have a car crash just like the start of the film and she saves Michael before the car explodes. Jason has some dodgy body reforming, which looks like they copied the transformation for Judge Doom into the crazy toon at the end of WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT?

Diana jumps off a building saying that if the waker dies before the last wish he looses, but Jason grabs her arm, Michael throws the sword and she stabs Jason and they both fall the Djinn dies. Michael thanks her and resurrects her she and Greg are back together and she tells him she loves him.

This film was way better then the the second, but that’s not hard that was a complicated mess of a film which didn't make sense; this film owes a lot to the teen horror films like SCREAM and I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER. Jason Connery is well cast as the villain and is very good at sleazy and creepy, the only real problem is that the deaths are nothing like what you have come to expect of the WISHMASTER they are very tame and the effects are very poor.

Though the film was closer to the original in plot, if you came in half way though you would probably think it was a typical teen slasher film, it was very dull and dragged, of course not as much as the second, but that movie felt like the Machine in THE PRINCESS BRIDE, I think it took a year from my life. Thankfully there is only one more movie in this franchise left.

WISHMASTER 2: Evil Never Dies (1999)

Movie and TV Mistress back again with another WISHMASTER film, this time it's WISHMASTER 2: Evil Never Dies (1999)

This film didn't even come out at the cinema it premièred on cable and went to DVD which is now out of print, that bodes well for this sequel doesn't it. At least Andrew Divoff returned to play the Djinn, sadly KNB effects didn't return to do the make up or effects.

The Movie starts very quickly we see Robert England's collection then thieves stealing items, guards try to stop them by shooting and wouldn't you know it they shoot the statue with the Djinn Ruby in it and a Thief takes the ruby, that thief is shot by a guard but it's fine, apparently bullets are attracted to the Djinn and so the ruby was shot and damaged the thief is revealed to be a girl and is burnt by the ruby. Her Boyfriend is shot, she kisses him and runs off leaving the broken ruby behind, the Djinn breaks loose and gets Eric to make a wish, he wishes he had never been born, we get some dodgy morphing effects and bad CGI with the Djinn.

The cops arrive, it is not Robert Englunds house from the first one it looks like a museum or gallery, a cop finds the Djinn who now appears to have horns, the cop tells him to freeze so the Djinn freezes the cop. The other cops arrive and the Djinn has turned into his human form from the first movie. Meanwhile Morgana the girl who got burnt by the ruby is having a bit of a hissy fit and mental breakdown, she seems surprised that her boyfriend was shot asking why...well lets see, you break in and steal stuff in America you are bound to be shot at, tut tut tut.

The Detective is questioning the Djinn and getting no where and the Djinn was unable to get him to make a wish but in the cell he gets a tough guy to wish and of course Morgana is connected to the Djinn and dreams about his victims. We have our first gory death and Morgana goes to church and see a priest played by Paul Johansson (Dan Scott from ONE TREE HILL). Morgana believes the Djinn is the Devil, I can see how she made that mistake he has horns and gives people what they want for their souls, yeah the Djinn and Devil so alike.

The Djinn is now in Prison and calls himself the Wishmaster, how to slip the title in. An inmate who is wrongly imprisoned asks the Djinn to put his lawyer though the pain and suffering he's been through and the lawyer shows up to say he can get him out and all the charges dropped but then is folded in half and rocked back and fourth, in a very comedic way.

Morgana has a nightmare again and does some research on the statue the ruby was in and so time for that history lesson. She is unsure if Eric is dead and here is a plot hole that bugged me from the start, Eric wished he was never born therefore no one should remember him and the Djinn would have no connection to Morgana and the incident may not have happened so this whole movie is a paradox.

Morgana explains everything to the priest who tells her to confess and find piece. She goes in search of the Djinn and goes to the prison to meet him, while another inmate asks the Djinn to get him out of jail, he is Russian and says “you are the devil and will give things for my soul.” Morgana speaks with the Djinn but doesn't get any real information. More inmates ask for stuff from him, which pisses off the big guy in the prison, who asks to get wasted and is beaten up by his twin martial arts bodyguards.

Morgana has more back story of the Djinn and talks it all out with the Priest who then offers to meet the Djinn with her and try to help, the priest discovers that the Djinn is not of this world and then we have the required shower scene where the Djinn scares her. The Priest explains the prophecy and then says he now believes in the Devil, I thought if you were a priest you'd believe in the devil as it's in the bible, he believes in god why not the devil till now; The priest wants Morgana and isn't hiding it.

The priest and Morgana have a plan and that’s to not make any wishes, Morgana cuts off her little finger and returns the stolen art work as well as confess in church. This movie is boring and the finger thing makes no sense and there is still 40 minutes to go, I wish it would end already, at least the first one was gross and funny there is no real scares or horror in this boring film.

The guard that hates the Djinn wishes he could slow dance with him alone Compton style, he regrets it when he see the Djinn in its real form, yet again we see nothing. The guard is now the Djinn , the Russian prisoner and the Djinn both escape. The Djinn has got as many souls as he can in prison but requires more, apparently 800 souls. Morgana finds the Djinn in the Russian mob club and shoots him, he tells her that she will make her 3 wishes and she runs off scared.

The Russian shoots Morgana thinking he can stop the Djinn but she is uninjured, the Djinn is in Vegas getting more souls and calls Morgana using the Russians voice telling her to fly to Vegas and stop the Djinn. The Priest finds the incantation to put the Djinn back in the ruby, they get closer and make out, there's a priest with principles. The Djinn reforms the ruby as he now has enough souls. Everybody in the Casino is winning and loosing their souls.

Morgana wishes that the Djinn be gone forever and be back in the stone but he can not grant these wishes, The Priest wishes that he go back to his hell and they all end up in the stone and the priest is on a cross, so she has her first wish. They end up back at the Casino and the owner wishes to see it all come to an end, god so do I. We get a bizarre scene with cards and roulette wheels attacking people, frogs and locusts.

Morgana wishes that the guard she shot was alive and takes god into her soul and says the incantation and everybody's soul is expelled, I really hope this is over soon. It ends with what’s meant to be the last scare of the Djinn staring at camera inside the stone, Barney the Dinosaur is scarier.

That movie was Awful, Boring and made no sense; as I said earlier it contains a paradox and other plot holes, like why does he now need 800 souls when he didn't in the first and why does she cut off her little finger. I know this film was made for TV but only showing 2 deaths at the start and having the rest take pace off camera made this film unscary and boring, it did not need to be 95 minutes long so much could be cut to make this a better paced film, not a better film though.

I guess it's on to the next WISHMASTER film, maybe it will be better, sadly Andrew Divoff does not return.

WISHMASTER (1997)

Movie and TV Mistress back again with another Horror Franchise, this time it's WISHMASTER.

I actually remember seeing this at the cinema, as it came out in May 1998 in the UK. I do know I found it funny more then scary back then, I wonder if I still feel the same way, has this laughable film improved with age?

Directed by Robert Kurtzman, a founding member of KNB effects who have worked on EVIL DEAD films and lots of other horror films including the recent Zombie series THE WALKING DEAD. This was his second time directing, his first being THE DEMOLITIONIST (1995), think ROBCOP with out the robot, it sounds hilarious and I will now be looking for it.

On with this film, which if you don't know is about a Djinn which is a Genie unlike Robin Williams or Jeannie from I DREAM OF JEANNIE. The movie opens with a Gem being cast, the McGuffin of the film. Next we have a long scroll about the history of the Djinn, narrated by Angus Scrimm (The Tall Man from PHANTASM). We hear a man in Persia wishing to be shown all the wonders of the world, a man is made part of a wall and looks just like Han Solo in Carbonite.

OK I’m less then 5 minutes in and I’m already laughing, it kind of reminds me of ARMY OF DARKNESS, the Type face is the same and it seems to have a similar film quality. I do wonder, what was it about the 90's which made movies so self referential We get to see lots of great make up effects which KNB are excellent at. We have a guy with a weird alien like creature popping out of his chest which bites a woman, next we have a man's skeleton escape his skin and attack people and another man turned into a snake. The wizard to the sultan tells him not to make any more wishes and then traps the Djinn in the red ruby which is then encased in a statue for safe keeping.

It's a hell of an opening for a movie and sets the mood for the rest of the film, which to me like HOUSE it is a horror comedy.

We flash forward to present day and Robert Englund (Freddy Kruger) and Ted Raimi (Joxer the Mighty) are at a dock receiving a shipment of the very statue the McGuffin ruby is in and of course a crew guy is drunk and drops the crate with the statue on Ted's head. Ted always dies in horror films in the funniest ways.

The statue is broken and the ruby is exposed and a dock guy takes it to an auction house for appraisal. we are introduced to Alex the heroine of the film, who doesn't want to date a hot guy (Josh) who fancies her. OK so Alex is a gem expert at the Auction house and just happens to have a Genie bottle like that in I DREAM OF JEANNIE in her office, see you can't take this movie seriously. Alex rubs the gem and we get a jump scare of her boss being right beside her, she takes the gem to Josh to check it further.

Ah set up for the finale battle between Alex and the Djinn, she tells a girl basket ball team they need stillness. While Josh uses a laser scan on the Gem and releases the Djinn who kills him by wishing for the pain to cease. Alex feels the pain and death of every victim and is connected to the Djinn. The Djinn creature grows and gets stronger with every wish.

This movie has so many horror actor cameo's Reggie Bannister from the PHANTASM films is a pharmacist and Buck Flower who plaid Red Thomas the Bum in BACK TO THE FUTURE again plays a bum. They argue and The bum wishes for Reggie to die.

Meanwhile Alex is upset and her sister doesn't believe her visions, Shannon thinks Alex is just having nightmares, which is true she is having nightmares about the Djinn. Alex investigates where the Gem came from and meets Robert Englund and gets some history and advise while the Djinn gets a human face and blinds a medical student. Alex meets a folklore professor who explains the plot and how the Djinn works, while we have more silly jump scares just to keep the audience on their toes.

We have a montage of Alex reading about the Djinn's history and more exposition. While the Djinn goes to her boss to find out where Alex lives, and on the Boss's Desk has a classic Genie Lamp like that is Aladdin. More smoking from both Alex and the Djinn, meanwhile the Djinn puts the Gem back together so he can bring more of his kind into the world, bit like the dark overlords in HOWARD THE DUCK, which is funny since the Djinn sounds just like the possessed Dr Jennings.

Alex goes to the professor again but it's very obvious that the Djinn has taken over her body or something, it's very red riding hood. Alex gets a free wish and wishes the Djinn to blow his brains out which he does but he cannot die, she then wishes to know what he is and is then trapped in the Gem being chased by her fears. Alex wishes her second official wish and we have a scream moment with the house phone.

Alex heads to Robert's party where the final battle will take place and is stopped by Tony Todd (Candy Man), she gets in and the Djinn gets Tony to try and escape a water tank and tricks Robert into wishing that his party was like that at the start of the film. Alex promises that she won't wish and runs way but the Djinn makes the soldier statues come to life and attack her and traps her sister in a burning painting. So she wishes that the Dock worker had not been drinking on the job 2 days earlier so everyone including Ted Raimi is safe and sound and Alex asks Josh out on a date.

So that was WISHMASTER it was still as funny as I remember and gross and the make-up effects were just as good as you would expect from KNB. As a Director Robert Kurtzman didn't do a bad job, this film definitely deserved the 18 rating for the Make-up and effects alone, more so then HOUSE. I would not tell you to go out of your way and watch this film, but if you like 90's self referential horror and seeing loads of classic horror actors meet horrific ends in a movie you might enjoy this just for a laugh, plus I’m sure there are some fun drinking games you can have with this film.

Can you guess what comes next?