Sunday 25 August 2013


Welcome to another colour themed film review.

As I'm sure you have gathered I watch the movie and type the review at the same time to give you my honest opinion and reaction to what I am watching. I hope that what you read makes sense and you can follow it, that said sometimes the movies I watch can be confusing, the first 54 seconds of this film I am confused, true I have never read the comics or watched the cartoon series and the history of the Green Lantern corp needs some explanation and I like Geoffrey Rush's voice, but there has to be another way.

Maybe this is why films based on DC comics don't tend to work, they try to explain too much and not just let the audience learn and experience the the adventure with the hero.

But on with the film, so the bad guy is called Parallax I guess he paralyses people with fear and steals there fear and escapes the Lost Planet of Ryat that seemed very easy. So Parallax goes after Ryan Reynolds Predecessor and he is injured and heads to earth where Ryan is sleeping with a hot girl and is late so drives fast while wrapping something and narrowly avoids a crash with split second reactions.

So Ryan (Hal Jordan) arrives and we are introduced to his partner Carol Ferris code name Sapphire probably real love interest of movie. We have a brilliant dog fight and Hal has flash backs to the death of his dad and so nearly crashes but ejects at the last minute. Everyone is angry at him but I’m assuming the robot planes as he calls them will come in handy at the end of the film. Even his family is mad and worried about him.

Considering that The Green Lanterns are meant to be fearless I get the impression that Hal might be the only green lantern who is afraid but that might be why he is the best to fight parallax. I also don't trust the red faced pointy eared green lantern called Sinestro his name like parallax is quite obvious and that his is sinister.

So a New guy called Hector Hammond is picked up by what I assume is secret service type people and taken to meet Tina Turner, sorry I mean Angela Basset, they are going to investigate the alien and and space ship. I have a feeling that Hector Might become evil or possessed by an alien or something and be Hal's Human nemesis.

Hal tries to figure out how to activate the lantern saying to infinity and beyond, by the power of grayskull and then knocks the lantern with the ring and as if in a trance he says the green lantern oath. Meanwhile Hector is doing a autopsy of the alien and gets infected by a bit of yellow parallax.

Hal hangs out with his flight partner Carol and apologises to her and dances with her before she asks why he froze, he leaves and gets beat up by the guys form the company he worked for who are pissed off and he accidentally activates his ring and punches them with a giant green fist and then is transported to Green Lantern HQ. While Hector is transformed into a human form of Parallax.

It looks like Hal is tortured before his suit is activated and he meets Geoffrey Rush (Tomar-Re) who explains more about the Green Lanterns and he is brought to a meeting of all the Green Lanterns. This bit kind of reminds me of The Last Starfighter when he first arrives on the planet. Hal gets training and Sinestro hates Hal and shows him how weak and scared he is, then Hal leaves saying it was a mistake for the ring to choose him.
Meanwhile Hector starts showing mind reading and telekinetic powers in his class and when Tim Robbins meets with him.

Sinestro and other Green Lanterns try to stop Parallax but He looses a lot of Green lanterns and the elders of Oa explain the origin of Parallax that he was also a green lantern who tried to control fear.

I find it hard to believe that people don't recognise Hal with a small eye mask on his face, Hector is not going to be able to show his face any more as he his head has got bigger and he looks like he is allergic to yellow.

Hal shows off to his best friend who picked him up after the alien crash and has figured out that the green guy was Hal, he mentions he is a super hero and that they get the girl and Hal flies over to Carols place and puts on a silly weird voice which is so cheesy. I really hope that Carol does realise its Hal, thank god she does, I would hate to think she was so stupid not to know her friend and partner. This so far doesn't feel like a bad film.

I can see what the director has done every time Fear, Hector or Parallax is shown we get Yellow lighting, and we get green lighting when Green Lanterns are about to show up.

Angela picks up Hector and brings him back to the lab to explain that there was a second life-form in the alien body and that he is infected and his dad Tim Robbins wants to help fix him, I think these guys are going to die now or very soon once Hector becomes fully transformed by fear.

Yeah I was right, ah this reminds of Tim Robbins at the end of Howard the Duck, sadly Howard is not here to save him hopefully Hal can save Tim. Oh well that's one to fear and Howard the Duck, Hal couldn't stop Hector but at least he didn't find Hal's real fear.

Hal explains everything to his friend and Girlfriend and they try to show and prove to him that he is has the ability to overcome fear and that he is courageous. Parallax communicates with Hector and though Hector, the Yellow ring is created and Hal pleads his case on Or and they refuse to help him as they don't want to take a chance on him. But we all know they'll come round and help him in the end.

Hector is holding Carol in the air with a needle to her neck of yellow stuff and Hal talks to him and tries to talk him down and gives him his ring which he uses and then tried to use on Hal, just before Parallax absorbs Hector's life force, Hal goes to get his ring but is caught by parallax and nearly killed before Carol uses the jets missiles to save him and he then goes off to try and out think parallax before it destroys earth.

A yellow and black cloud of smoke engulfs the city streets, which I feel is reminiscent of the footage of people running down the streets of New York when the twin towers collapsed.

Hal pushes back on parallax and drags it to space and towards a sun and then when it won't burn he punches Parallax with a giant green fist intothe sun. So Sinestro isn't a bad guy after all, and Hal does get the girl before flaying of to fight evil. Oh wait I was right Sinestro is evil and will be the bad guy in the next film because he put on the yellow ring.

I am actually very surprised with how much I enjoyed this film, true I like Ryan Reynolds to the annoyance of my fiancé. That said I can also see why it didn't do very well at the box office, the CGI suits and aliens are obvious and don't work in my opinion. Had this been made in the 80's lets say, we would have had an actual costume and creatures from fantasia (Neverending Story) as the other green lanterns. I prefer in camera effects and make up, I feel there is too much reliance on CGI and that we have lost an art form.
But other problems with this film was it felt like they just wanted to get this origin story done, so they can start working towards the eventual JLA movie and a sequel which they might put more effort into.

I would say at times I was reminded of Spider Man, and the Incredible Hulk with regards to the storyline and some of the characters so nothing new however I feel people may want to give it a second look, but that's my thoughts as a newbie to the story of the Green Lantern.

One last comment as much as I like Ryan Reynolds I still don't like the skin type costume and I feel that he would have been better as the Flash or the proper Dead Pool in their respective movies if they ever happen.
I'll return next week with Red Tails.

Sunday 18 August 2013

BLUE CITY (1986)

Movie Mistress back with another movie with a colour theme to the title.

I know nothing about this film so I'm coming in blind all I know is it has Judd Nelson and Ally Sheedy or as my dad likes to refer to her “Nice Software” you figure out the movie quote.

So we have credits over images of a city and Judd arriving in Blue City on a bus, already it is clear he is just home from Collage I think the basketball and prepy look gives it away. Boy he must have been a busy guy in the mid 80's. So Judd starts a fight with his bully causing a bar fight and ending up in prison.

So Judd is the Mayors boy desperate for attention or so he says, and it turns out he doesn't know his dad is dead and was murdered.

I feel like this might be slightly like hamlet and that the chief might be the bad guy and it will be up to Judd and Ally to solve the murder of his dad. Judd even asks the mechanic if the chief is on the take, before visiting his dad's grave.

I swear it is pure coincidence that Blue City and Green Hornet have rich prepy guys who don't like their dad and want attention. Oh wow David Caruso (Joey) before he became Horatio, I prefer him at the start of his career to now.

So Judd goes to Kerch's night club (Supposed main Bad Guy) and a call girl talks to him and tries to find out what he knows but Judd realises it and leaves then gets stopped by a blonde guy in a safari suit who takes him to Kerch's office. Kerch tells him he didn't do it and gets his men to beat him up. Judd goes to Ally to get cleaned up and find out more information about Kerch and what he has done to his friend Joey.

Definite Hamlet vibe coming from this film or maybe it is the same thriller/detective story of the 80's movies. Judd pisses off Joey and they fight and suddenly Joey is helping him and as Joey takes him to show where Kerch is everyday at 10:30 and Kerch's car blows up so he pays a visit to his step mum.

I feel like Joey knows too much and has things Judd needs before he asks and I feel he might double cross Judd later for money or will get killed. Judd and Joey hold up the dog track which is owned by Kerch and then is picked up the next day and taken to Chief of Police Reynolds, I still don't trust the Chief.

Kerch's story is Judd's dad worked with him and then someone killed Judd’s dad and he fell in love with Judd’s step mum there is that Hamlet vibe again. Judd won't stop until he gets justice for his dad. Well he will for sex with Joey's sister Ally Sheedy, wow I couldn't see that coming at all.

Judd tricks his step mum in to believing someone is being indited for his dads death and pisses off Ally when she tries to help by becoming a dancer at Kerch's club and telling her not to be detective. What men should remember is women are smart and good at finding clues. So far the detective work of this film seems to be Judd and Joe stealing from Kerch.

I think I know why this film was not really seen in the 80's and isn't remembered as much as other Brat pack films. I am following all the plots but they are all confused and badly edited with a load of continuity errors due to editing.

The Chief has turned up again and tells them to back off but that’s like telling some one not to press a button. A dancer from Kerch's club, who played the female vampire in Fright Night 2, apparently has all the gossip on Kerch.

I really am wishing this film would end and make sense, cause I really don't care about anybody in this film. There is nobody in this film which is likeable, even the dancer is evil and setting up Judd, Joey and Ally for a shoot out at a motel. Joey and Judd get arrested, but the Chief is covering up for them again for the third time in this film and tells Judd to get out of town for good.

This is such a boring and confusing film and not confusing in a good way like Inception or In The Mouth of Madness just plain confusing. Oh look Joey (David Caruso) is killed I didn't see that coming from the start of the film. Cause the “hero” needs a reason to return and finish what he started.

Kerch's people are just plain weird though out this film I have not been sure if I should be taking them seriously or if they are meant to be the comic relief. The final battle reminds me of the ending of the film Super with one guy taking on the bad guy and his house of minions. But I still think I have been right about the Chief from the start as he arrives just in time to kill 2 minions of Kerch.

So the Chief kills Kerch and I hope Judd finally realises what I saw from the start the Chief is evil, I guess he had to get shot first by the Chief to realise. Oh yay it must be the end of the film we have the Bad guys monologue and then Judd shoots him.

As there is no proof of who killed who and why, surely that means Judd goes to prison for murder, but this is a movie so I guess not and he rides off into the sunset with Ally on his bike.

OK so the movie was only and Hour and 20 minutes but boy how to make a movie complicated, I know at times Hamlet can be confusing but at least you felt some sort of connection with the main protagonist. From the get go I didn't like anybody apart from Ally's character, everybody else was corrupt even Judd and Joey at times I felt Judd's character was just doing everything for the fun of it like crank calling his step mum and just genuinely being a spoilt brat. The ending felt like a complete anti climax the ending of Turner and Hooch with the reveal that the Chief was behind everything was handled way better then this. So in conclusion I would not recommend this film.

Next I return to the colour Green with the Green Lantern I just hope I can sit though it all.

Monday 5 August 2013


It's been a while but I have been wanting to get back to writing these blogs for a while so I’ll try to keep it up and maybe I’ll do another podcast too.

Well lets look at The Green Hornet I was living and working in Toronto when this and the Green Lantern came out and I just was not interested in any green movies that year.

So I sit here and I have chosen to watch a movie that like the phantom I just am not so invested in, I’m aware of the history of the character the 60's TV series with Bruce lee and the crossover with the 60's Batman but I never cared for The Green Hornet or any of those rich vigilantes who relay more on their sidekick then themselves you know the type that seem to appear more in the DC universe, I know Marvel and other comics have there’s but DC seems to have a lot.

So the movie opens in what I can only assume is the childhood of the Green Hornet, with stereo type 2 a disappointed single rich dad who seems to be a major prick. Ah the classic bad guy entrance reminiscent of 80's bad guys and James Franco Seth Rogan's bestie. I am holding back about James Franco cause he frustrates me, that is being polite.

James Franco pisses of Christoph Waltz who has a pistol with 2 barrels by saying he looks like a disco Santa and isn't scary. Christoph Waltz is scary I wish I could call him a Scary German Guy but he's Austrian. So glad he blew up James Franco.

I want to like Seth Rogan, but he only plays one thing which appears to be himself always partying and getting stoned. He gets told off by his dad again who I assume is going to die or get killed soon. Wow surprise I was right, who knew.

So selfish arrogant prick continues, he now controls a paper, fired all the staff at the house who worked for his father, then suddenly realises he needs one particular member of staff cause no one can make decent coffee/ I find that hard to believe.

15 minutes into this film and apart form Christoph Waltz who is the bad guy, there is no one likeable in it hopefully John Cho playing Kato might make me feel better about this film. So Kato makes a dame fine cup of coffee I wonder if he lived in Twin Peaks. So he shows some of the stuff he has worked on for his dad including the car, my question is why did his dad need a car like that and wow there is a Bruce Lee homage with Kato's drawing's.

OK Kato and Seth get drunk, Seth decides to cuts the head off his dad's statue and then when taking the head notices a couple being mugged but is a chicken and runs off after shouting at them, next Kato turns up to save the day is an awesome sequence which was clearly made for the 3D experience. I really think Kato and Tonto got the raw end of the deal they are the hero not the rich guy's. Maybe this is what influenced John Carpenter when he made Big Trouble in little China.

So Kato beats all the bad guys up and Seth gets one hit in at the end and they evade the police well try too and use as Seth calls the the “Ben Hur Shit” you know the cutters that comes out of the wheels.

I feel that Seth must be a nightmare for the script writers as I feel he improvises a lot and not for the benefit of the film. So Seth explains the plot and the job of a hero and how he will not do what they do in movies or comics.

Wow Clarissa Explains it all Dad is still working who knew. Kato comes up with the name The Green Hornet while Seth keeps trying to sell the Green Bee, he uses his news paper to publicise the 2 hero's hay at least he has control of the paper and is not like Peter Parker working as a photographer trying to take pictures of himself as spider man. 35 minutes in and Cameron Diaz finally arrives, I suspect she is just in this film to be another love interest, hope she doesn’t dance and end up being like her character in The Mask.

Well she is definitely more intelligent in this film then other characters she has played. Kato works on the car's and weapons while Seth works on his costume, which Kato ends up making. They go for a ride in the new car with a record player playing Gangsters Paradise weird, Seth then call his new secretary Cameron to get instructions on what the Green Hornet will do next. So we get another 3D fight sequence and they find out who the bad guy is Christoph Waltz. Wow Edward Furlong still looks Stoned and delivers the message about The Green Hornet and Christoph Waltz kills him.

The Editor of The Sentinel tries to warn him about reporting on the Green hornet and upsetting the DA who has promised to clean up the city. We then get a montage of them taking on more bad guys. Kato makes Seth a gas gun and Seth shoots himself and ends up being knocked out for 11 days and in that time Kato make 3 more Hornet cars and fixes the gas so it only lasts an hour and then Seth shoots him.

Kato and Seth fight over Cameron Diaz and the DA tries to get in touch with Seth. Finally the bad guys are getting annoyed with the Green Hornet as am I. I have spent 3 days forcing myself to watch this and I love comic book movies but this is just frustrating.

The Green Hornet is sent mail from the bad guy for a trap and Seth is getting pissed off at his side kick, time for the break up part of the film where they get pissed off at each other and one of them is bound to end up getting hospitalised or someone close is going to get hurt and they will have to take their role seriously and take real action against the bad guys. Christoph waltz uses 3 lorries to trap and push The green hornet, Kato and car in to a grave and bury them alive but Kato blows up the grave with all the weapons in the car. OK so only the bud guys got hurt.

Ah how meta Seth and Kato have a fight about who the hero is and who the side kick is, my money is on Kato winning this fight, Seth is a whinny, weak chicken who can't fight. Darn it Seth wins by default because Kato can't swim and gets fired along with Cameron Diaz.

Christoph waltz is now after the green hornet cause someone close to him was killed in the explosion earlier. The Editor of the paper tells Seth he has heightened this to the point of a climax, out of context this sounds rude, but within the film I hope that this means we are near the end cause this is awful.

The DA is sounding very sleazy, by saying he wants to help Seth but that it will be mutually beneficial to him to him, which means you help me get re elected and I help you control the news.
Mean while Christoph Waltz character wants to change his name and get a red costume.

So much exposition in this film and I am bored, there are better ways to explain the story then have some say what’s been happening, I got what had happened from the photo I did not need the explanation about what his dad had done, but hay I’m not the lowest common denominator that the studios aim at.

So Christoph and the DA have hired Kato to Kill Seth, wow that wasn't obvious and so Finally we get to the sad story of how the DA killed Seth’s dad and joined forces with Christoph, and Seth finally apologises to Kato and they are back together. And time for the obligatory chase section of the movie with multiple car crashes. And now I feel a Back to the Future Libyan shooting from the Van at Marty sequence. Kato defeats the bad guys while Seth tries to get a USB with a recording on it to the Daily Sentinel and on to the Internet surly there are easier ways to get information on the internet without going to the actual paper but have this must be the big final battle.

OK so Kato and Seth take the car in the elevator lose the back part of the car but it still drives cause it is front wheel drive. I am seriously willing this film to end it just isn't fun or funny. Oh yay a fight in the dark where you can't see anything and Kato's leg is trapped and Seth the idiot didn't record anything well done. But I think he is finally going to redeem himself and save Kato or not Kato saved himself. They kill the DA and Seth's only suggestion for the car ejector seats finally pays off.

And they go and hide out at Cameron Diaz place and figure out how to get rid of the bullet in his shoulder and that involves Kato Shooting him as Brit during a press conference, the best part of this film is the ending and the credit sequence.

I can completely understand why this was a flop, Britt Reid/Green Hornet (Seth Rogan) was unlike able as a character and apart form the first thing he and Kato did and the final fight they weren’t helping people they were just looking to take control of the gangs. Kato was the best thing as he was when Bruce lee played him and sadly his back story was not explored more they should have gone down the Big Trouble in little China root at least Kurt Russell had a likeable character and was trying to help but understood that he didn't understand.

I now see that Seth Rogan wrote this film which explains a lot of the inane conversations and movie references I wish he had tried to make a more serious Comic book film this could have been like the marvel movies which have serious subjects and have funny moments but this kept trying to be funny and it just wasn't, also I felt no real danger for the characters and no connection to them.

I feel this could have been so much better and maybe revived a classic Comic book character, but perhaps the classic characters like the Phantom, the Shadow and Dick Tracy no longer resonate with the public and the film makers don't know what do do with them.

But like always watch it yourself and make your own mind up about this film and all films don't take my word of it form your own opinion and hay let me know what you think.