Friday, 1 January 2016

Whats happened so far since 2013.

I know It has been a while since I wrote something, it has been a busy and strange couple of years.

I got engaged in the 1st of march 2013, my lovely husband got down on one knee in front of me with a beautiful engagement ring behind the Disney castle at Disney World Florida. I never thought I would have a boyfriend let alone be proposed to, so it took me a while to speak because of the shock and emotions I was feeling, there was no doubt in my mind that I loved Conal and would say Yes I just couldn't believe what was happening.

A lovely girl at the park came over after I said Yes and offered to email me the pictures she had taken of the event which I am so grateful for they are beautiful and are pride of place on our wall. Also right after I said yes, a husband and wife came over and the man told us he is a pastor and he would like to congratulate us both and wish us all the luck in the world. What popped through my head was I have only just said yes, I don't want to marry him right at this moment. We were then invited into Cinderella's castle to be given just engaged badges and have pixie dust sprinkled on our heads.

We were engaged for 2 year and were married on August 9th 2015 at the Clandeboye Lodge in Bangor Northern Ireland. It was a beautiful day and neither Conal or I were nervous about getting married, I was emotional because it felt like I was leaving my family but I wasn't and I know that now, our families are both so welcoming to each other.

During the 2 years prior to the wedding I lived and worked in northern Ireland and Conal lived in Blackpool, We went on Holiday to Toronto and went to comic cons in London and Toronto we saw each other as much as we could and we were and still are very much in love and there is no doubt that we make each other very happy.

That said in 2014 I suffered from a breakdown and severe depression and if it was not for my family, Conal and his family, my friends and the doctors I don't want to think about what could have happened, I know what nearly happened and I hate the fact I put everyone through this, but I have learned depression is a dark beast in your head that tries to control you and you have to fight it everyday and it is a beast I am still fighting and some days are better then others.

I left my Job in Northern Ireland as that was the main cause of my depression and I was having trouble working there even when I tried to go back when my therapist told me not to. Thankfully I had been given a job with the civil Service in the UK and was able to move over to live with Conal in Blackpool prior to the wedding and work in Southport. The commute is actually quite relaxing and I have got used to the shifts, I'm so much happier but I still fight the beast in my head.

Because I moved over to the UK in May 2015 we were unable to have a proper Honeymoon We had a couple of days in Belfast after the wedding before I had to go back to work. So we have planned a 2 week trip to Florida in 2016 which was not our original intention but it is actually a perfect way to celebrate or relationship as it was in Florida that Conal proposed and we both love the movies and rides at Disney and Universal.

2016 is going to be a great Year and we will be just as happy as we have been in the 4 years we have been together so far.

I will write more film reviews and work on my story ideas too. I'm not just saying this because of the New Year, I now feel strong enough to go back to this as it is something that makes me happy and I love doing, but over the past year I have found it hard to get motivation to write which is another side effect of depression, you don't have the motivation to do anything all you want is to be on your own and do nothing or not to be part of this world at all.

I think that if people were educated on Depression and not embarrassed about it perhaps people would get the help they need sooner and not let the Beast win.

But on a lighter note lets all make 2016 a brilliant year and besides we are now in the future beyond Back to the Future 2.

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